thanksgiving

a grandiose subtlety carves its way through human connection. it slithers or caresses around mexican kitchen tiles or old allergenic air, prompting the loveliest of meanings and ugliest of venoms. and so i wonder if any of our lives are really so different. whether lives, as particular as they are to each of us, are really so unique. and of course they are not. it is called the anonymity of large N. we read stories or see movies and they are human and we Understand. the subtlety is a membership card to whatever house of mirror club we have going here. and our club is just that, a fantastic collection of reflective bumps and concavities. light runs like rays of string bouncing against the insane motion of mirrors. it is beautiful that light, beating as congealed molasses in glass. we swim in it. a duality as only humanity can concoct. venomous snakes, loving mothers. i am part of a tradition which is called thanksgiving and though their tongues are spiteful and fast their words are inescapable collectives. like hands they pull. how i wish my mother lacked The Hurt or my grandmother The Regret. or at least how i wished they didn't wear it on their forheads. there is nothing to be done about these things. like hurricanes they will take hold of the aether and tear because we all wish upon ourselves that which we do not wish upon ourselves. i do not know what my ailment is. perhaps i bear upon myself The Difficult. but as such, what else am i do to but lift my neck high against the led of my spine and i pull with equal ferocity? it is on that subtlety which i pull, like water or time.

quals

great men lie sprawing on walls about me. collectively we admire them. individually, i a piece of paper quivering. feeble ill-formed lines of code partially cover my bare necessities. emulating sprawling great men whose Meaning is so strong it requires no continuity. but i do. continuity is my Meaning. lets strip her. give her the gift of nudity. hang it up, call it art. test them on it, mold them into it, train them to recognize what we deem researched practical ability abilitus habilitus dot dot dot. that class shook me up. it was an echo. keep practicing. you have quals soon.